This is a late post as I have already celebrated my birthday last January 11. 😊 But still, I wanted to post this as a culmination of my 2017 and the beginning of my 2018, the year in which I am past the shining Silver year most of the ladies are celebrating.
What has changed? A lot. I mean it though. Last 2017 is a very life-changing year for me in a sense that it has a lot of impact in my relationships which I value so much. Some people especially those that I hold dear have decided to stay out of my life or to move to another working environment. Some came to dive into my world – welcome to my life! New role and responsibilities were given to me and a bunch of not so wise decisions were made.
Here’s a summary of my 2017:
January – Most of the time, I was with my boyfriend of six years. We celebrated New Year, my birthday and our 6th Anniversary together. He bought me a ukulele as a gift. At that time, it seemed that everything is working out well. He was with me when I was moving out of Makati to Pasig where I rented an apartment to be with my mom and brother. Work is just fine at that time because though it was a year-end close, I got to go home early on my birthday.
February – My brother and my mom came to Manila. All of us stayed in Pasig near our other relatives. The days passed by. We’re happy because we are together. We chose not to think much of my father. See, we’ve got some family issues.
March – One of the most heartbreaking month that I have. My senior’s replacement was announced. I was heartbroken to not have the post. Eventually, I got over it in time though. This has been one of the major test of friendship that I got. Why? It was my bestfriend who got the post. We’re okay now, though. 😊
April – Not sure of the events during this time but based on my few entries in my diary, I was wondering about my future. Especially my future with my special someone. I was thinking a lot about compatibility, anger management and effort to keep the relationship alive and working.
May – Again, I am not so sure about the events during this time but I have seen a prayer in my diary about relationships. I prayed that if we (my boyfriend and I) are meant to be together, please strengthen our bond. If not, please make it less painful and quick because I really cannot say the words to him. It was this time that my mother went back to the province leaving me and my brother on our own.
June – It was his birthday! We went out and I bought him a shirt for his mountain climbing escapades. We were happy for a while but most of the time, we argue about the littlest thing like being late for a few minutes, late replies and callbacks.
July – Newbies came to our team. There is this one person that they say na “Kamukha ni tabby.” But I really do not think so. Ang layo kaya. Mas pogi yung newbie. 😀 Anyway, nothing much happened because it was a month about work. Handovers, clean-up of accounts.
August – Nothing much to say but business as usual. More issues, resolutions, handovers. 😊
September – I’ve become busy with work especially that we were preparing for the quarter close. It was also during this time that we were planning to move from Pasig to Makati since my brother got a job in Makati as well. We decided to scout for an apartment. It was also when my boyfriend at that time and I had an argument about calls and text messages that were not that consistent. I tried a new strategy which is to not make a move at all with the thought that he’d come after me to ask what’s the matter only to find out that he was way stiffer that I thought. He blocked me in his personal number. We’re friends in facebook though so I knew that he was okay and that he was ignoring me on purpose.
October – The first two weeks passed by in a blur. I focused first on the closing activities and moving into our new place in Makati. During this time, I was stalking my then, ex-boyfriend. We did not have an actual closure as he ignored my messages but I began to accept what happened to us. I realized a lot during this time. It was indeed bound to happen with the various differences that I have noted before but chose to ignore.
It was in the latter part of this month as well that my bestfriend decided to take a risk to grab an opportunity. It was not easy on my part as it was just recently that I lost someone special, then, here’s another. So far, this month has been the roughest.
November – I finally said my piece to my ex-boyfriend. I have sent him my thank you-sorry-goodbye-wish you well message. His response, “seen”. Nothing more. I decided to unfriend and unfollow him in social media. The pain was no longer there. That was quick right? I was shocked to at how fast I came to move on. Maybe because I have lots of realizations about our relationship. One thing is sure though, I have closed my eyes to our issues because I have hoped for something to change but along the way, my love for him gradually faded until that faithful month of October in which I just got shocked because all of a sudden, we’re done. I cried thrice and I’m okay after. Maybe one way of saying how I healed so fast is that I have been moving on even when we were still together. In my heart, I know that there is something terribly wrong between us. It’s just that I don’t have the courage to call it quits.
At work, I got a heads-up to apply for my bestfriend’s role. Yes, you got it right! The post I have mentioned in “March” which I’ve been eyeing. This time though, I was not excited. It was more of “why me?” because I do not see myself ready for the position plus the fact that it is already year-end. Also, my colleague whom I have treated as my partner in the process is also a candidate. We were interviewed by two of my most admired leads in our department. I got so nervous and had my fair share of bloopers. Eventually, it was announced that I will be taking on the role. The struggle came after it especially that we only have two weeks for the handover process.
It was also during this month that we had a teambuilding c/o the newbies. At this point, I came to a realization about someone who I’ve been connecting with but suddenly disappeared for some reason (I have a hint though). I felt sad and bothered because for some reason I feel safe and happy whenever I am with that person. There is this connection that I can’t quite explain.
December – Busy with work but I got to spend Christmas with my family. It was not smooth-sailing though. All my hopes crashed upon knowing that our family problem was not yet resolved. So much for being optimistic! I immediately returned to work and got busy with lots of controls. It’s year-end close!
Before Christmas, I got connected with the person I have mentioned in “November”. We patched things up and decided to see where things will lead us. 😊
January 2018 – my birth month! 😊 Happy to have the team with me during my special day though our process have a lot of issues and time-bound constraints for workarounds. It was very stressful and currently I am still fixing it with the help of my team. My heart is happy but my mind seems to have a different case. It does not seem to want to rest. 😀 I have been thinking a lot lately that I got to sleep less so imagine my current state. Just kidding! Currently, I am thinking things through. Hopefully, I’d come to a sensible decision after.
So that’s my year in a nutshell! Very challenging and full of twists! But I couldn’t agree more that it has taught me a whole bunch of lessons. Cheers to more learnings and memories!
Notes and Sweet Nothings 