At times, I cannot help but be confused with myself. I am a person full of contradictions, of varying traits, of easily changing things. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me but I guess it is more of me overthinking things. To further understand myself, I decided to put it in writing, hence, this post.
I love being with people, their company, the small talks and the sharing. The thought of influencing them just by spending time to talk is priceless. I find joy and warmth but as the day goes by, I could not help but feel like my energy is put into drain. I sometimes get surprised because I suddenly notice my withdrawal from the crowd. Suddenly, the urge to hide in my own shell, my comfort zone becomes so strong. I tend to become silent and literally, I am in my own world, my dummy world where I bravely post thoughts and frustrations. Then after a while, I go back to being the “people-person” that I am. Then, the cycle goes on.
I was not bothered by this until recently when I needed to connect with people other than those that I am used to being with because of my advocacy. I know that this can happen because maybe, just maybe, I am pushing myself a little bit harder than I should. But hey, that is what it should be. I should not just sit around and wait for lessons and self-improvement to come to me. As I usually say,
“I am what I am because of my choices. I will be choosing what I want to be. No excuses.”
Notes and Sweet Nothings 